A Love Lost

October 10, 2020

It’s 2 in the morning and I found myself browsing through my old emails that are almost 20 years old. Yes, that old! At first I was just looking for emails from CitiBank but I ended up checking the “love” folder, the wonderland of emails. ❤️

Then I found this email sent to me with a document attached to it, “September 20.doc”. I gasped! I never thought it was in my inbox all this time! This was a song that my ex-boyfriend composed and dedicated to me about the day we first met. I was humming the tune trying to remember how it goes and then it hit me, hard, like really hard. It dawned on me that I indeed had a fair share of failed relationships, marriage even. I recalled all those moments when I did crazy things just for love and all the pain and heartaches that went with it. But at the same time, it made me cherish the happiness and love I felt during those wonderful times. I knew I was loved wholly and truly. I’ve realized that I’ve let go of amazing individuals who were true, loving, caring and honest. I’ve hurt people who didn’t deserve their hearts broken just because I was naive, young and stupid.

My experiences taught me that love is not really about finding that ideal, perfect person but simply by being with someone who makes you truly happy and content that no matter what, you will choose to stay, no if’s and no but’s.

As I go on in this life’s journey, I am content that I have Amber who’s always by my side. She is the love of my life, my forever best friend. She brings so much color and joy in this momentary cycle of life. However, I always get asked, if do I still long for that one soul who’s going to sweep me off my feet, to be with me and laugh with me until my hair turns grey? Well of course, I do. I yearn for that one person who can tame my zestful self who’s always on the quest for travels, adventures and what-nots, that one person who can appreciate my independence and my flaws, who can see right through me but still loves me wholly, that one person to whom I can say, “Finally, I’m home.”

…

To love and be loved is one thing, but to decide and act on it is another. Love like how beautiful it feels seeing the sun set, love like how the sea caresses the sand, love like how the moon gives you the comfort of bliss, love like how the stars sparkle in the night sky, love like how brave the thunder roars. Yes, love may be scary yet even so, a love that’s lost is still love, and that’s what makes it beautiful. ❤️

Put your phone down, and just love.

In today’s world where social media is taking up so much of our time, we tend to neglect the little things that matter. And tonight is no exception.

It has been a long Saturday for me and Amber. We woke up earlier than usual as we have lots of things to do today. It started at lunch where we had a sumptuous meal with the girls, Purl and Yahnee at Balai Cafe in AS Fortuna. Their Chicken Farooj is a must try! Lami jud kaayo. Right after, we attended the AGM (Action Group Meeting) for the Lanutan group in Banawa where we all had a good laugh during snacks time. Around 6pm, went to Ayala for a little bit to check on some stuff and carpool with The Beatles family going to Banilad to attend the last night of Lola Puring’s novena.

Whew. I know. It’s a long day indeed (And this will be a long post as well, Yeah. I’m warning you.) We were finally home at 9:09 in the evening. We prepared for bed so we can rest. Amber and I always talk or cuddle before we sleep. While we’re on the bed, she got her LPS (Littlest Pet Shop) toys out and started playing with them. I also took my phone and started browsing through my Instagram, Facebook, check my emails, chatting with friends, read articles and what-nots.

Fifteen minutes later, Amber asked me to play with her and act as the mom in her pretend game. I wasn’t willing but I still obliged. I was on my phone and playing at the same time. Then, we got tired and decided to sleep. So we turned off the lights and as usual, had a little chitchat. Our topic was what is it that she wants to do during summer break. She pointed out she wants to do gymnastics and swimming. I agreed with a condition that she also has to attend Kumon Math classes. Upon hearing it, she told me she doesn’t like the idea. I tried to persuade her, but to no avail. She turned her back on me as she was really upset. Then there was silence. I asked her a lot of questions, including this one: “What is it that you don’t like about mommy?” She suddenly turned to me and said “Even if we’re playing together, you’re always on your phone. It feels like I’m not here, that I don’t exist.” then she cried. I just hugged her so tight.

It seems like my world stopped. I can’t find the words to tell her how I feel. It breaks my heart hearing those words from my hurting baby girl. What have I done? I’m such an awful mom. She continued to cry. Then I uttered the words “I’m sorry.” Over and over again, I mumbled the words sorry countless of times as I was hugging her and as both of us are crying. She keeps on telling me, “It’s okay mom. I always forgive you. I love you.” Listening to every word she said made me realize a lot of things.

Amber and I have rules already regarding the use of smartphones. Well, she doesn’t have a smartphone yet, and doesn’t even use her tab because she prefers to play with her toys. Still, we have these rules that are not even enough.

Even so, I am grateful that Amber is open to communicate her emotions to me. But what about those around us who are not brave enough to tell us to put our phones down?

I guess some, if not most of us are guilty that social media has taken toll on our day to day lives. Even if we’re together with friends, family or love ones, we unknowingly ignore them because we enjoy our screen time even more. We tend to disregard the value of somebody’s presence right in front of us. We neglect the true meaning of connection and communication because to us, we thought that our mere existence is enough. But it is not. We have to connect through our eyes and our hearts. We need to be there and give our full attention because that is love.

Let us not torment another Amber to feel the pain of being ignored.

Let us not wait for another Amber to long for a quality and undivided attention.

Let us not wait for another Amber to feel that she doesn’t exist.

Instead, let our Amber experience the happiness of what a real connection can give.

Let our Amber have the bliss of being in the presence of someone she cares about.

Let us not waste our time looking down, when our Amber is just right in front of us.

So let’s put our phone away, and just love. ♥️

AXA 2017 Kick-off Party

Last January 25, 2017, Gus and I joined AXA Philippine’s 2017 kick-off party. It was a beautiful Wednesday noon when Janice, Melch and I went to the Grand Convention Center to register. Wait, you might wonder where Gus is? Well, at that time, he was still in his class and he had to catch up. Anyway, we thought we were early but when we arrived, there was already a long queue in the registration area. All the more we got excited! There were game booths where we can play even if we’re in the queue. It was fun to see people from different branches from the provinces of Cebu, Leyte and Bohol.

The program is set to start at 1:30pm, which means that our branch, Ablaze Life had an ample time to practice for our cheer. Since the 2nd floor is already crowded, we went to the ground floor to practice. We were all cheery and pumped up when somebody approached us to stop because we were so loud already and yes, we were already disturbing the diners. What were we thinking? It was only past 12 o’ clock when we did the practice. We felt bad and of course apologized. We hurried up because the kick-off was about to start! Wohoooo!

Exactly 1:17pm on my watch when we were welcomed by AXA Agency Leaders. The venue was filled with more than 300 financial advisers who are thrilled to know what this 2017 is in store for us. The theme for this year is “AXA Strength in Numbers”. We are aiming for more people to join us in our advocacy of financial literacy to Filipinos. So to entice everyone in the room, AXA is having a contest this first quarter of the year for all financial advisers who can invite 4 people to join us. And I mean, 2 contests! A trip to Macau and/or Hong Kong! How awesome is that? I’d definitely be going these places for free!

AXA Agency Leaders and Ms. Cherry Pua-Africa did an awesome job in motivating us to do more and be proud of what we are doing. It’s not an easy job you know. I tell you, being in the insurance industry is not for the faint hearted. You have to face a lot of rejections and all you’ve got is your determination and burning passion to help educate people on their financial goals and how important it is to have one.

We learned a lot of things on that beautiful Wednesday afternoon and as what Ms. Cherry said, “In order to be powerful, your dreams must pierce like an arrow and sometimes it hurts.”

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#CBSTalks: Best Blogging Practices on November 28!

Cebu Bloggers Society (CBS), Waterfront Cebu City Hotel and Casino and Smart Communications present #CBSTalks: Best Blogging Practices

#CBSTalks: Best Blogging Practices is one of the major events that Cebu Bloggers Society is holding this year. This initiative manifests the Society’s commitment to promote best practices and nurture professionalism in blogging and social networking.

Patterned after the rousing TED Talks, it will feature Cebu and Davao’s best digital influencers who will share their personal inspiring stories of best practices related to content, website management, ethics, and online interactions, among others.

Their stories will be captured on film, edited and uploaded on Cebu Blogger Society’s YouTube channel, website and other social media channels.

Please join us on November 28, 2015, 9AM-4PM at the Jimei Room of Waterfront Cebu City Hotel and Casino. Admission is FREE! Visit http://www.cebubloggers.com/cbstalks for more registration details.

This FREE event is organized by the Cebu Bloggers Society, Cebu’s first and premier blogging organization, established on February 14, 2008.

Co-presentors

Smart Communications, Inc. (Smart) is the Philippines’ leading wireless services provider.

Waterfront Cebu City Hotel & Casino is the official venue of #CBSTalks. The hotel is grandly situated at the heart of the city’s commercial and business district. A convenient 30-minute drive from the Mactan International Airport, the hotel is home to 561 guestrooms and suites, 10 wining and dining outlets, and is popularly known for its superior meeting and conference facilities. With a seating capacity of up to 4,000, the hotel’s Convention Center is outfitted with 4 function rooms and 2 grand ballrooms designed to host all event types and sizes.

Gold Sponsors

Megaworld Corporation is the Philippines’ biggest developer of integrated urban townships and the largest lessor of office spaces. As the country’s pioneer in integrated urban township developments, Megaworld now has 18 townships all over the country. The Megaworld Group has around 4,000 hectares of land in its portfolio. Around 80 percent have been dedicated for LIVE-WORK-PLAY townships or mixed-use communities, the concept of property development that Megaworld pioneered in the Philippines way back in the 1990s. The townships combine the residential, office, commercial, retail, recreational and institutional components to form mixed-use communities.

Cebu Pacific Air is the Philippines’ leading airline. It remains to be the pioneer in creative pricing strategies as it manages to offer the lowest year-round fares for all its flights. CEB currently operates a fleet of 47 Airbus (9 A319, 32 A320 and 6 A330) and 8 ATR 72-500 aircraft, one of the most modern aircraft fleets in the world.

Silver Sponsors

Islands Souvenirs revolutionized souvenir shopping by transforming cottage-industry type products and giving it a fresh take. It carved out a new niche for itself by providing premium quality souvenir items that are creatively designed and packaged in vibrant shopping environments.

Sheb’z Cakes and Brownies

Abiza

The Spa by Omnia Bellus

Maison des Fleurs Cebu Flower Shop is a flower shop in Cebu city and your personal florist online. They offer flower deliveries, wedding giveaways and party souvenirs like wines and perfumes.

Program Flow

8:00AM-9:00AM – Registration
9:00AM – Welcome Remarks
9:10AM – Morning Session
11:40AM-12:40PM – Lunch Break
1:00PM-3:40PM – Afternoon Session
3:40PM – Closing Remarks

The Speakers

For full list of speakers, their topics and profiles, visit http://cebubloggers.com/cbstalks/.

ADMISSION IS FREE! So what are you waiting for?! Register now at http://cebubloggers.com/cbstalks/

Kat & Nald – A journey to Forever

Kat & Nald Video

Kat, 5’3″ tall, AKA shaina magdayao, a dear friend of mine got hitched last May 25, 2013.
She married her first and only boyfriend, Ronald.

I’m so glad to be part of their wedding where my booboo bear happened to be one their
flower girls.:)

I love you both.

Cheers to Forever! ❤

A day at the DFA Cebu

It was a rainy Thursday morning when Ace and I went to the DFA; which is located at the Pacific Mall, Mandaue City to renew my passport. At 6:00 am, we weren’t surprised to see a long queue of applicants, 80% of them were just standing and imagine most them were already there since 1:30 AM! Oh by the way, the sole reason why I’m getting one is because I’m flying to Singapore on the 3rd of July with my NCR friends. *wink*

To illustrate the queue, see an example below:

DFA Cebu: Picture taken from http://michaellibby.blogspot.com/2012/11/finding-dfa-cebu.html

The line starts at the ground floor of the DFA office and it curves down going to the main entrance of the mall. When we arrived, the end of the line was still at Chowking and I was hoping I could still get a number ‘coz I was told they would only give out 350 numbers from Tuesday – Friday. An hour later, that was 7am, the line started to move. The DFA personnel already started giving out the numbers.

And as I was getting closer; suddenly, a man with his gf/wife rushed into the line and said, “Asa naman tong naga red? nawala na lagi?”… and for everybody to hear, he added “diri man mi gikan alas 3 but ni uli mi kay naa mi gikuha, naa mi gi sundan but nawala naman.” he guided the girl to insert in the line and that’s it! Instant DFA priority number. I just shook my head and mumbled “Pwede ra man ta naay iblin usa nila para mag line. hmmph” >.< I simply can’t complain. *May mga tao talagang sadyang makapal ang mukha*.

20 minutes after, I got my number, wooot!! 233 it is! I was told to go back at 12nn.

After a few hours of rest at home, I got back at 12nn, only to find out that the numbers served were from 1-100. Arrgggh. So dugay! I waited at the benches as there were plenty. You’ll also get a dose of JustforLaughs videos flashed at the TV screen. 1pm came, and I saw two familiar faces. Yey! Tita Leah and my cousin Rhea Ann were also there to get a passport (duh, what else?). 2pm came, and I’m in for processing. When it was my turn, I proceeded to Window 1 with my requirements. But there, a note stated: Effective May 30, Expedite processing of passport is on hold. Releasing of passports will be on July 5, 2013. WTF! July 5? I’ll be flying on the 3rd. And if I’ll risk rebooking on the 5th, what if my passport won’t still be available. Ugh! Just so great. *sarcasm* So I just moved on and waited for my turn for encoding which lasted for almost 2 hours. 😦

*Sigh* Anyway, here’s what the DFA 4th floor looks like.

DFA – 4th Floor. Pic taken from: http://michaellibby.blogspot.com/

At 5:00PM, I’m finally done. Yehey!

Here are some useful links in getting a passport here in Cebu.
1. http://michaellibby.blogspot.com/2012/11/finding-dfa-cebu.html
2. http://onepebblecab.blogspot.com/2012/02/how-to-apply-for-passport-in-cebu.html

Before I end this blog, I have a few tips on how to “secure” a priority number. 😀

1. Go to travel agencies. It’s a sure thing you’d get a slot. But the rate is a bit higher of course. It
ranges from 1,900 – 2,500.
2. Wish for rainy days. 😀 There aren’t a lot of people queued on rainy days. I bet you all know the reason why.
3. Spell T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Y! In most government agencies, there are less queues on Thursdays. Much more on a rainy Thursday. Teehee! 🙂
4. You can try acting as “maybe” what that guy did. Remember? “Asa natong ga red, nawala na lagi to? diha nalang ka insert.” See the power of acting?
5. Bring a kid, 8 yrs and below and you’ll get an express pass. ^_^

Personally, I’d go for #3. Much more if it’s raining. ^__^

Solitude

The rain falls
In the emptiness of my desire
As droplets of my tears
Mixed with its anguish

My soul’s deserted
My heart mourned
Searching for an answer
Till the profundity of my thoughts

Clinging with the breeze
The memoirs of you …
Staring at me with broken dreams
Confusion roars

Angst outbursts.

Soaring high in the sky
I, still adhering with stupidity
My blind reality

In my secluded world
Desperately I lost you…
Out there, somewhere
I looked for you
Yet,
You were gone.
Vanished,

Even in my solitude.

A poem written when I was still in college, that was 2002

2012 Goals

It’s kinda late to list my top 5 goals for 2012 especially that it’s already the 2nd quarter of the year. Oh well, I really didn’t bother having one but I realized, it’s sure handy to have a goal so you’ll have something to look forward to for the whole year rather than just go with the flow.

Anyway, here’s my top 5:

1. Save and Invest; that would mean, invest in mutual funds, stocks, but yeah, I know it’s impossible for me I don’t have much moolah, that’s why, investing in insurance companies is the best option. 😀

2. Travel; myn promised that our family would travel out of Cebu at least once a year, glad that we have a Davao weekend getaway this coming August with my girls. 🙂 Yehey!

3. Make a personal iPhone app that will be useful for everyone and have it published in Apple App Store.

4.  Renovate/Beautify; that would mean repainting/beautifying our current apartment OR my room in Banilad which is already used as a bodega. It would be nice to have our on room to hang out in my mom’s place so amber can have her own bed to sleep in every time we visit mama Belen.

5. 107lbs; means, more exercise and diet to reach my ideal weight hopefully before my birthday!

I have more in mind, but they’re just random things that are pretty easy to achieve.

So there you go. 😀

Keratosis Pilaris Alba aka “Chicken Skin”

Maybe some of you or your love ones have the same skin condition that I had and I just want to share how I get rid of it because somehow, it’s really bothersome.

I had this skin condition on January this year. It’s sometimes itchy especially when your skin is really dry, either too hot, or when it’s too cold. I had goosebumps all over my arms and my legs and it’s so frustrating to look at because it’s ugly and some are scaly.

I started to research and went to the derma and found out that I had this “Keratosis Pilaris Alba”.
There are several types of keratosis Pilaris, luckily, mine’s just Keratosis pilaris alba, which causes rough, bumpy skin with no irritation.

It looks really ugly especially that I love to wear shorts, imagine goosebumps all over your body!

image from: http://www.doctorcosmetics.com/

What I did was just put on lotion everyday, specifically, Burt’s Bee’s
“Naturally Nourishing Milk and Honey Body Lotion”.

And it worked for me, after a week of usage, my skin condition improved. And after almost 2 months, my skin’s back to normal again. 🙂

Yehey!

It’s Friday! So?

Yey! Friday! ^___^ So? Happy for those who can dilly dally
the whole weekend while we have to take our every-saturday-sauna-work-day. *sigh*

Well, it basically has its share of advantages
and disadvantages. Hmmmm, let me enlist them.

ADVANTAGES:
1. We can watch a movie of our choice without minding the boss (of course, he’s not around)
2. THEY can play dota all day and shout at each other till their ears bleed and jaws drop.
3. Hmmm..at least we can get an early shower. (=
4. I don’t have to drag myself out to run a saturday errand. (‘coz i’m out already! :P)
5. It’s a free sauna day! Yey! *rolleyes*

DISADVANTAGES
The list could go on forever. But let me just name 3.
1. Can’t wake up late! *arggggggggh*
2. No more saturday morning bonding time w/ bamberboo and didi
3. Sums up to waste of time and money. jeezzz! (both for me and the company, see advantages list)

Weeeee,  I got a work tom! *bangs head*

blag!