In today’s world where social media is taking up so much of our time, we tend to neglect the little things that matter. And tonight is no exception.
It has been a long Saturday for me and Amber. We woke up earlier than usual as we have lots of things to do today. It started at lunch where we had a sumptuous meal with the girls, Purl and Yahnee at Balai Cafe in AS Fortuna. Their Chicken Farooj is a must try! Lami jud kaayo. Right after, we attended the AGM (Action Group Meeting) for the Lanutan group in Banawa where we all had a good laugh during snacks time. Around 6pm, went to Ayala for a little bit to check on some stuff and carpool with The Beatles family going to Banilad to attend the last night of Lola Puring’s novena.
Whew. I know. It’s a long day indeed (And this will be a long post as well, Yeah. I’m warning you.) We were finally home at 9:09 in the evening. We prepared for bed so we can rest. Amber and I always talk or cuddle before we sleep. While we’re on the bed, she got her LPS (Littlest Pet Shop) toys out and started playing with them. I also took my phone and started browsing through my Instagram, Facebook, check my emails, chatting with friends, read articles and what-nots.
Fifteen minutes later, Amber asked me to play with her and act as the mom in her pretend game. I wasn’t willing but I still obliged. I was on my phone and playing at the same time. Then, we got tired and decided to sleep. So we turned off the lights and as usual, had a little chitchat. Our topic was what is it that she wants to do during summer break. She pointed out she wants to do gymnastics and swimming. I agreed with a condition that she also has to attend Kumon Math classes. Upon hearing it, she told me she doesn’t like the idea. I tried to persuade her, but to no avail. She turned her back on me as she was really upset. Then there was silence. I asked her a lot of questions, including this one: “What is it that you don’t like about mommy?” She suddenly turned to me and said “Even if we’re playing together, you’re always on your phone. It feels like I’m not here, that I don’t exist.” then she cried. I just hugged her so tight.
It seems like my world stopped. I can’t find the words to tell her how I feel. It breaks my heart hearing those words from my hurting baby girl. What have I done? I’m such an awful mom. She continued to cry. Then I uttered the words “I’m sorry.” Over and over again, I mumbled the words sorry countless of times as I was hugging her and as both of us are crying. She keeps on telling me, “It’s okay mom. I always forgive you. I love you.” Listening to every word she said made me realize a lot of things.
Amber and I have rules already regarding the use of smartphones. Well, she doesn’t have a smartphone yet, and doesn’t even use her tab because she prefers to play with her toys. Still, we have these rules that are not even enough.
Even so, I am grateful that Amber is open to communicate her emotions to me. But what about those around us who are not brave enough to tell us to put our phones down?
I guess some, if not most of us are guilty that social media has taken toll on our day to day lives. Even if we’re together with friends, family or love ones, we unknowingly ignore them because we enjoy our screen time even more. We tend to disregard the value of somebody’s presence right in front of us. We neglect the true meaning of connection and communication because to us, we thought that our mere existence is enough. But it is not. We have to connect through our eyes and our hearts. We need to be there and give our full attention because that is love.
Let us not torment another Amber to feel the pain of being ignored.
Let us not wait for another Amber to long for a quality and undivided attention.
Let us not wait for another Amber to feel that she doesn’t exist.
Instead, let our Amber experience the happiness of what a real connection can give.
Let our Amber have the bliss of being in the presence of someone she cares about.
Let us not waste our time looking down, when our Amber is just right in front of us.
So let’s put our phone away, and just love. ♥️
Solitude 